Skip to main content

Letting Go

I have a quotation I tucked in one of the framed art pieces in my office, positioned to where I see it every day. It came from my 2019 Zen calendar, and it has three goals I try to always keep in mind:

"In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." -- Buddha

It's like a checklist for my life, and I think about it often. I feel I've loved a lot: family, friends, role models, pets, work, art, books, music, nature and life in general. I still believe in love, too, despite what it's cost me (and sometimes that price tag was a whopper.) I am blessed to be with the love of my life as well, so I'm good there.

Most of my life has been about endurance, not gentleness. Yet I try now to live what I consider gently via sustainable practices, empathy, providing emotional support, and not being a burden on others. I look for ways I can make my family's lives happier and more comfortable, and I avoid people and things that depress me. I create rather than destroy. That's about as gentle as I can be, I think.

I've let go of lots of things -- PBW, my career as a traditionally published author, toxic people in my life who just used me, etc. -- yet I can't say I was especially graceful about it. Quitting NY Publishing was more of a relief than anything; I'll never regret it. That decision led to me finding the best job of my life, too. PBW I still regret sometimes, but I still think ending it was the right choice (especially now with social media being used as a weapon by so many.) I regret that I let too many toxic people stay in my life as long as I did, but at least they're gone now.

From here I just want to stick to those three goals. If I can love, live gently, and let go gracefully, then I'll be happy. I know because I'm happier now than I've ever been, and I'd like to stay in this place.

What is steering you these days? Tell me in comments.

Labels:

Comments

nightsmusic said…
I've gotten 'nicer' since I retired. Maybe nicer isn't the word, maybe more tolerant or better yet, less reactive. If someone needs to be angry, I let them. I can't fix their anger and arguing only makes it worse. My life has been a struggle. Not because of others but because of me. Of my expectations for me, my depression, those things I've fought with myself over all my life. And I too have given up a lot, not always by choice, sometimes because I had to walk away...sometimes, I have regrets and wish I could turn the clock back to that decision, but I wouldn't be the person I am now. I don't know that I'm happier than ever, but I'm more at peace with myself and the world in general. I think that counts. :)
March 8, 2020 at 2:49 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Downsizing

This was my fabric stash once I sorted everything -- 22 full bins. I spent a day taking out and boxing up what I could part with, with the goal of trying to reduce it by half, so I'd have 11 bins. I was very strict with myself, and removed everything that for one reason or another I was sure I wouldn't be able to use. This is what I ended up with -- 12 bins of fabric that I'm keeping. It's not quite half, but close enough. Half of what I took out went to a local quilter friend, a school and Goodwill. These four tightly-packed bins will be going to the local quilting guild once I make arrangements with them for a drop-off place. I am relieved and a little sad and now determined to control my impulses to thrift more fabric. I don't want to do this again, so until I use up six bins, I can't for any reason bring any new fabric into the house.
Post a Comment
Read more

In Progress

I promised myself I would show you the good, bad and ugly of my cleaning this year. This is what it looks like when you dump thirty years' worth of stashed fabric on the floor -- and oy, what a pain in the butt to pick up again! This is what it looks like after it's been sorted, folded and placed in containers, which took me about a week. Now the hard part is to downsize my stash by at least half, I think (that's my goal, anyway.) I've already e-mailed the president of the local quilting guild, a local friend who is a quilter, and a public school art teacher I know to see if I can donate some of the excess to them. The rest will go to Goodwill. Already I've reduced my vintage textiles from two bins to one, and my scraps from three bins to one. It's probably the hardest clean-out I've done, which is why I saved it until last. I know I have too much fabric, more than I can use in my lifetime -- but at the same time, I love it. So I have to
Post a Comment
Read more

Other Stashes

Along with clearing out the spare bedroom and tidying my office and our guest bedroom, I decided to reorganize some of my stashes. This is all the yarn I have on hand, sorted by color. It looks like a lot, but lately I've been using up a minimum of half a bin every month, so this is approximately a year's supply. All of my solid color cotton perle thread. I go through a lot of this every year, too. I need a container in which I can fit all of it together, but I haven't found the right one yet. I won't show you all of my fabric -- I'm still reorganizing this stash -- but I went through everything and donated two bins of fabric I won't need to the local quilter's guild.
Post a Comment
Read more