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Letting Go

I have a quotation I tucked in one of the framed art pieces in my office, positioned to where I see it every day. It came from my 2019 Zen calendar, and it has three goals I try to always keep in mind:

"In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." -- Buddha

It's like a checklist for my life, and I think about it often. I feel I've loved a lot: family, friends, role models, pets, work, art, books, music, nature and life in general. I still believe in love, too, despite what it's cost me (and sometimes that price tag was a whopper.) I am blessed to be with the love of my life as well, so I'm good there.

Most of my life has been about endurance, not gentleness. Yet I try now to live what I consider gently via sustainable practices, empathy, providing emotional support, and not being a burden on others. I look for ways I can make my family's lives happier and more comfortable, and I avoid people and things that depress me. I create rather than destroy. That's about as gentle as I can be, I think.

I've let go of lots of things -- PBW, my career as a traditionally published author, toxic people in my life who just used me, etc. -- yet I can't say I was especially graceful about it. Quitting NY Publishing was more of a relief than anything; I'll never regret it. That decision led to me finding the best job of my life, too. PBW I still regret sometimes, but I still think ending it was the right choice (especially now with social media being used as a weapon by so many.) I regret that I let too many toxic people stay in my life as long as I did, but at least they're gone now.

From here I just want to stick to those three goals. If I can love, live gently, and let go gracefully, then I'll be happy. I know because I'm happier now than I've ever been, and I'd like to stay in this place.

What is steering you these days? Tell me in comments.

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nightsmusic said…
I've gotten 'nicer' since I retired. Maybe nicer isn't the word, maybe more tolerant or better yet, less reactive. If someone needs to be angry, I let them. I can't fix their anger and arguing only makes it worse. My life has been a struggle. Not because of others but because of me. Of my expectations for me, my depression, those things I've fought with myself over all my life. And I too have given up a lot, not always by choice, sometimes because I had to walk away...sometimes, I have regrets and wish I could turn the clock back to that decision, but I wouldn't be the person I am now. I don't know that I'm happier than ever, but I'm more at peace with myself and the world in general. I think that counts. :)
March 8, 2020 at 2:49 PM
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