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Letting Go

I have a quotation I tucked in one of the framed art pieces in my office, positioned to where I see it every day. It came from my 2019 Zen calendar, and it has three goals I try to always keep in mind:

"In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." -- Buddha

It's like a checklist for my life, and I think about it often. I feel I've loved a lot: family, friends, role models, pets, work, art, books, music, nature and life in general. I still believe in love, too, despite what it's cost me (and sometimes that price tag was a whopper.) I am blessed to be with the love of my life as well, so I'm good there.

Most of my life has been about endurance, not gentleness. Yet I try now to live what I consider gently via sustainable practices, empathy, providing emotional support, and not being a burden on others. I look for ways I can make my family's lives happier and more comfortable, and I avoid people and things that depress me. I create rather than destroy. That's about as gentle as I can be, I think.

I've let go of lots of things -- PBW, my career as a traditionally published author, toxic people in my life who just used me, etc. -- yet I can't say I was especially graceful about it. Quitting NY Publishing was more of a relief than anything; I'll never regret it. That decision led to me finding the best job of my life, too. PBW I still regret sometimes, but I still think ending it was the right choice (especially now with social media being used as a weapon by so many.) I regret that I let too many toxic people stay in my life as long as I did, but at least they're gone now.

From here I just want to stick to those three goals. If I can love, live gently, and let go gracefully, then I'll be happy. I know because I'm happier now than I've ever been, and I'd like to stay in this place.

What is steering you these days? Tell me in comments.

Comments

nightsmusic said…
I've gotten 'nicer' since I retired. Maybe nicer isn't the word, maybe more tolerant or better yet, less reactive. If someone needs to be angry, I let them. I can't fix their anger and arguing only makes it worse. My life has been a struggle. Not because of others but because of me. Of my expectations for me, my depression, those things I've fought with myself over all my life. And I too have given up a lot, not always by choice, sometimes because I had to walk away...sometimes, I have regrets and wish I could turn the clock back to that decision, but I wouldn't be the person I am now. I don't know that I'm happier than ever, but I'm more at peace with myself and the world in general. I think that counts. :)

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