Remembering This

We planted a Duncan grapefruit tree yesterday on our back property as my last Mother's Day gift for my mom. It's also what I prefer to do to honor the memory of those I've loved and lost. We bought an Valencia orange tree for my dad as well, so it can keep Mom's tree company.

Some good news: my kid got a job with the U.S. Geological Survey testing water sources in the Pacific northwest for invasive species. She leaves in a couple weeks, and we probably won't see her again until Christmas. It's a wonderful opportunity for her to be a field scientist and pursue her dreams of helping to solve some of the problems with the environment.

I've been feeling frozen for the last couple of months. Depression, my health issues, the feeling every time I go to bed that I might not wake up in the morning -- it's hard to live that way and feel hopeful and happy. I'm a problem solver with problems I can't solve. My paralysis has been equal parts frustration and exhaustion.

Losing Mom hurt, but it made me remember that we all have a limited time here. If my time is running out, then I need to live the best life I can now however I can. I hope then when it's my time that I'll have no regrets, and go with a happy heart.

Holiday Prep

For Thanksgiving this year we've invited some guests from Oliver's mom's side of the family, so I have to start prepping now to get the house in shape for the big day. The first major thing is having the carpets cleaned, which we've scheduled for next week. This weekend I'll be cleaning out four rooms to get them ready for that. I started with my front dining room, which I use as my sewing room. It was kind of a mess already, so it felt good to get everything cleared out. We'll be having ten people at dinner plus two babies, so this will give me a chance to figure out how to arrange two tables in this space. I think this will be my last time hosting a big Thanksgiving gathering. Mike has started his family with a lovely girl who has a huge, close-knit family of her own, while Katherine will likely be off at grad school out of state for the next several years. I'm also not getting any younger. My guy and I will always celebrate Thanksgiving, but ...

T-minus Day

This was our little Thanksgiving dinner last year, when it was just the three of us. Time keeps whittling down my favorite holiday; this year it will be just me and my guy, and we likely won't even have a turkey.* That will be a first in 35 years. I feel about Thanksgiving the way other people do about Christmas, and while it's a lot of work it's my favorite holiday. Of all the Thanksgivings I've had in the past sixty years, only three were truly terrible: one when I was a kid that I don't talk about (#1 most miserable); the time I roasted two turkeys together and hosted fifteen people whom I cooked for and served with zero help (the largest and #2 most miserable); and the one I spent in basic training (the #3 most miserable.) I have no pictures of any of those, thank heavens. In addition to doing all the cooking I'm the one who takes all the pictures, washes all the dishes and puts away all the leftovers. I suppose no one else cares because to them it...

Fell Off the Wagon

I did cut up that plastic dollar tote to make into something stronger, but got caught up with work and set it aside. Then last night some hand-dyed silk and pretty threads called my name, and, well . . . Felt SO good to do some handwork, except my neck began hurting about an hour into it. I tried changing the way I sit and work, but it's pretty obvious that the doc is right.

Valerean

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