The other day my guy made the mistake of asking me why I'm not a fan of Christmas. I was busy, and I forgot engage the holidays filter first, so I told him. Thanks to my Christmas trick even he's never realized how many miserable holidays I've had.
During the December when I was eight months pregnant with Katherine I got food poisoning -- the projectile vomiting kind -- after attending a family dinner party at my sister-in-law's house. I spent most of that Christmas on the floor in the bathroom alternately worshipping the porcelain goddess and being scared I'd go into labor too soon.
On another Christmas Eve I fell down a flight of stairs while carrying presents for the kids down to my car. If I hadn't landed on the presents I probably would have broken my neck. The presents actually survived, but I broke my foot and three ribs.
The Albino Robin Hood book cover mess happened during 2008's holiday season. Online I pretended to be a good sport and joke about it, but while that was happening I also lost our dog Buddy to cancer two days before Christmas.
Even when nothing hugely awful happens during the holidays I still have bad luck. Yesterday my car battery died, for example. I'm also limping because I now have arthritis in the foot with the old break.
Honestly, I'd like to skip the holidays entirely, leave the decorations in the attic, have no celebrations whatsoever, tell everyone to stay away, and be left alone to write or read or sew or do something I actually enjoy. That's my idea of a magical Christmas: no Christmas whatsoever. But while it would be wonderful and relaxing for me, everyone else would be miserable.
So here's the trick part: To cope with the yearly torment I've always tried to see Christmas as being about others rather than me (because in my case, it really is.) Every year I focus on making other people happy. It's not my holiday, it's my chance to show how much I appreciate the people in my life. I love my guy, whose birthday is two weeks before Christmas, and I want him to be happy. Same thing with our kids. Now that we have a grandson I have even more to be thankful for in my life.
Christmas, as wonderful or as miserable as it gets, is never going to be about me. It's about them. But for me I do one thing: I always make sure to give myself one nice gift for Christmas. That is my thank-you to myself for getting through it. And then comes my favorite day of the year: December 26th. Aka 365 days before I have to deal with it again. I absolutely LOVE December 26th.
What sort of tricks do you use to get through the holidays? Let me know in comments.
Comments
I remember that whole Albino Cover Debacle. You really were gracious through it all.
So, Christmas for me...hubs had been working a new job since October, Thing 1 had just turned a year old in November, I started getting calls from my dad that my mom wasn't feeling good. I thought it was the flu. Long story short, I buried my mom that Christmas Eve morning. I didn't do anything the first two years after that. I bought presents for the girls, but I didn't decorate. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I finally decided that they shouldn't be denied the magic that is Christmas because of me.
It's been 30 years since my mom passed. Some years are harder than others. I like decorating now, but I'll have a day, sometimes two, where the grief just overwhelms me and the day is spent in reflection and crying. I missed my mom. I was often cruel to her when I was a teen. I didn't always spend a lot of time with her when I turned into a pseudo adult. There are so many things I wish I could say to her. So those days are very hard for me. But I watch a lot of Christmas movies, or rather, they're playing in the background while I'm writing or cleaning or what have you. They help. But it's still hard.
I understand how you feel. *hugs*
My holidays have been a mix of good and bad, but mainly the things that bum me out is when we've lost our pets. Iko was last Christmas so we're not decorating this year. The grief is still too strong. We generally skip Christmasy things for at least one whole year if we've lost someone. It's just too hard.
We've lost others between Thanksgiving and New Year's so that mars the festivities for those days too.
I love Christmas, especially when family visits. We go all out if there will be little ones around too. We want to make it special for them.
Thanksgiving is still my favorite holiday, but Christmas even when marred with heartbreak, reminds me how much I love my family, the furry ones and the bald ones. :)
I'm going to focus on cooking and quilting this year. Those are my two most therapeutic go-tos for restoring a little happiness.
It still breaks my heart when I think about it.
Thanksgiving is my favorite, too, and this year turned out near-perfect, so I'm holding onto those feelings.
Btw, you did one nice thing for me without even knowing it -- I got that Oliver the Ornament gift you mentioned on your blog to give to our Oliver for Christmas. The little ornament really does look like our boy, too.