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Christmas No-Nos

As the holidays approach us with all the subtlety of a sledge to the head, here are

Ten Things I Do Not Want For Christmas

Alexa or Anything Alexa Related: I use VRS all day to work. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is talk to more devices.

Bath Products: I've arrived at that age when getting in and out of the tub is actually a little dangerous. Also, I have an entire drawer filled with the stuff that I haven't used from all the Christmases past.

Booze of Any Kind: I haven't had a drink in thirty years, and people still try to give me alcohol during the holidays. If I can't find a responsible drinker to pass it along to, all that overpriced wine is going to deodorize my sink in January.

Crocs: Quite possibly the most unattractive shoes ever created, Crocs are also what I see just about everyone in Wal-Mart wearing while they're buying barrels of lard, sacks of those cheese puff balls, and cases of no-name beer. So not really where I want to go with my fashion choices. Also, plastic shoes make my feet sweat.

Depressing Books: I already have the holidays to crush my spirit and throttle my soul, thanks.

Kits of Any Kind: When you get older people start trying to give you new hobbies via craft or cooking kits. I tried diamond painting this year, and it wasn't worth all the effort involved. So please, no more new kits of stuff I have to put together, especially the kind that involve tiny bits of plastic and tweezers.

Meditation Stuff: I should never have told people I meditate every day. What I should have mentioned is that I don't need any technology to help me do it. The actual point is to get away from technology.

NetFlix: Like the smart phones everyone in the family but me has this. As far as I can tell they use it to watch YouTube videos most of the time. Which I can do for free on my computer, yes?

Quackery: Another recent development in my life is everyone wanting to give me supplements or some other natural but highly questionable treatment or cure for my diabetes. While I appreciate the concern and proffered hope, there is no cure for my disease. I control my diabetes with a proper diet and close monitoring by my doctor, which is what everyone should do.

Writing How-Tos: At this stage of the game for me, kind of an insult.

What don't you want for Christmas? Vent away in comments.

Comments

Maria Zannini said…
That made me laugh that someone would send you writing how-tos. Do they know you?

My list is similar to yours. I really dislike depressing or violent novels. And while I know it's customary for people to bring wine as a hostess gift, I wish they'd bring fruit or chocolate instead. Greg is the only one who drinks and it's weeks before he finishes one bottle. I usually end up using it in cooking because I'm tired of seeing it take up space in my fridge.
nightsmusic said…
Mine is really just...don't ask me what I want and when I tell you a couple things, get me something that isn't even close to anything I named. There's really not much I need anyway. I'm at that age where I'd just as soon you give to a local animal rescue in my name if you feel an overwhelming need to get me something. But hub's family doesn't listen to me. :/