Self-care always sounded selfish to me when I was younger. I was raised to believe that you worked hard and took care of those you loved (even when you didn't realize until much later that they never really did the same for you.) I had no time for such a ridiculous practice; I had responsibilities. Even my dream -- writing -- was something I did in what little spare time I had, and the people around me thought it was ridiculous. Eventually I proved them wrong.
Here's a little wisdom from someone who has been used and abused by others because of her success: if you're extremely good at making money while working your dream job, don't let anyone know.
When I first drafted this post I wrote a lot about the recent upsetting incidents, and those people who didn't believe in or support me. It's good to get those feelings out. However, one of my lifelong goals is to avoid being vindictive, which for me is toxic behavior. Instead I try to find joy in myself and what I'm able to do. I've been mostly successful, but I still have to constantly work at it.
After a lifetime of caring and financially providing for others I'm drawing close to my finish line. I can't go back and fix all the mistakes I made over the last 64 years, but I can spend the last part of my life taking care of the one person I haven't loved but instead ignored all my life. Someone who has done whatever I've asked of her and not complained. Someone who has had just as miserable a life as me, and truly deserves to be happy for the rest of her life. That's who I'm focused on now.
If you can't guess who that is, then maybe you should contemplate the title of this post. :)
I'll be writing more about self-care in the months ahead: what works, what doesn't, and the best ways I find to practice it.
Image credit: Image by Rosy / Bad Homburg / Germany from Pixabay
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