Skip to main content

Clarity over Chaos

With my nephew moving out, my daughter now coming for an extended visit, and my guy needing minor surgery, as well as a project I need to finish for my day job, my quiet life is suddenly becoming very chaotic. Pressure mounts as I try to manage the additional tasks as well as everyone's expectations of me. This time, however, a lot has changed in my ability to do so, thanks to some changes I've made in how I perceive and address the expectations of others.

Actions versus Expectations: As always I do what I can, but I no longer overextend myself, especially while others who create the work for me stand by doing nothing and/or criticize me for not satisfying their requirements. I am not a machine. Nor do I beat myself up if I can't make them happy. That's their problem, not mine.

Calming Meditation: I have a new habit in the mornings, in that I'm choosing a spiritual teaching to focus on that day, and also to meditate on as I walk the dogs or do my chores. It's proving very soothing. Attending to my soul as well as my housework makes my home life more serene for me.

Saying No to Harmful-to-Me Activities: I always thought I had to go along with what everyone else wanted to do in order to be a good sport. My family expects this of me. This is why I sustained a foot injury at a Disney theme park that took almost a year to heal because I was forced to walk continuously for almost twelve hours to keep up with the family. It's also why I got a hot cinder in my left eye the last time we went to the races. No one was even worried about either incident because they got what they wanted, and I didn't complain.

Actually I was quite worried both times. I'm very slow to heal, especially on the legs and feet. Because I have artificial implants in my eyes I need to protect them, too. This is why I will no longer go to theme parks or the races with the family. Nor will I do anything else that can prove to be harmful to me anymore. If no one cares, then I have to.

Taking Time for Myself: I spend several hours every night unwinding and enjoying my various projects. It helps me sleep better. Not everyone approves of this; evidently they expect me to work every single minute I'm conscious. Since I work from the time I wake up for twelve to fourteen hours taking care of my critics, this house, the dogs, the cooking, the laundry and my day job, while they have no responsibilities at all, I feel I am entitled to a little time for myself.

Summer may prove challenging now, but I am focused on maintaining my peace and calm. Respect begins with the self.

Image by Denny Franzkowiak from Pixabay

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

T-minus Day

This was our little Thanksgiving dinner last year, when it was just the three of us. Time keeps whittling down my favorite holiday; this year it will be just me and my guy, and we likely won't even have a turkey.* That will be a first in 35 years. I feel about Thanksgiving the way other people do about Christmas, and while it's a lot of work it's my favorite holiday. Of all the Thanksgivings I've had in the past sixty years, only three were truly terrible: one when I was a kid that I don't talk about (#1 most miserable); the time I roasted two turkeys together and hosted fifteen people whom I cooked for and served with zero help (the largest and #2 most miserable); and the one I spent in basic training (the #3 most miserable.) I have no pictures of any of those, thank heavens. In addition to doing all the cooking I'm the one who takes all the pictures, washes all the dishes and puts away all the leftovers. I suppose no one else cares because to them it...

Holiday Prep

For Thanksgiving this year we've invited some guests from Oliver's mom's side of the family, so I have to start prepping now to get the house in shape for the big day. The first major thing is having the carpets cleaned, which we've scheduled for next week. This weekend I'll be cleaning out four rooms to get them ready for that. I started with my front dining room, which I use as my sewing room. It was kind of a mess already, so it felt good to get everything cleared out. We'll be having ten people at dinner plus two babies, so this will give me a chance to figure out how to arrange two tables in this space. I think this will be my last time hosting a big Thanksgiving gathering. Mike has started his family with a lovely girl who has a huge, close-knit family of her own, while Katherine will likely be off at grad school out of state for the next several years. I'm also not getting any younger. My guy and I will always celebrate Thanksgiving, but ...

Fell Off the Wagon

I did cut up that plastic dollar tote to make into something stronger, but got caught up with work and set it aside. Then last night some hand-dyed silk and pretty threads called my name, and, well . . . Felt SO good to do some handwork, except my neck began hurting about an hour into it. I tried changing the way I sit and work, but it's pretty obvious that the doc is right.