Skip to main content

You've Got E-mail

I just emptied my personal e-mail box completely for the first time since 2017. Yes, it was stuffed with nine years of e-mails -- well, not every e-mail I received, of course. Fan mail, of course, and then some notes from a few friends that were nice. I also saved the not so nice ones, the kind with digs, veiled insults, and unkind remarks that hurt me from people who told me repeatedly that they were my friends. It took me a long time back then to end relationships with bullies and toxic people, and I would pour over those nasty e-mails, usually thinking I was reading into it too much because hey, they said they were my friends, right?

After Mom died, the blinders finally fell off, and I saw people for who they were, not for who I hoped they were. That's when I began cutting ties so I could start my journey toward peace and calm, although at the time I didn't know that's what I was doing.

I was aware that I should have gone through all my saved e-mails and just let them be marked read. Instead, I marked them as unread and ignored them. I let them sit for about three years just gathering virtual dust while I stewed over what to do, which path to follow, if I should abandon everything everyone told me I needed, etc. I've always done best on my own, and I am not a group thinker. The herd is mostly nasty toward people like me, that's what I learned from trying to fit in.

Anyway, I've been slowly learning how to deal with this sort of thing, and recently I found inspiration that helped. I decided to read the saved e-mails again, all of them, one last time. The happy now seemed a little sad. I was so willing to settle for the tiniest crumb of friendship. The not so nice ones just seemed pathetic, too. How terrible it must be, to use such tactics to hurt someone who cares about you. I'll never understand the reasons for that. They were never my friends.

Anyway, they're all read and put to rest. I am not sorry that I held onto them for so long. Nor do I regret finally letting them go. I feel like I just spring cleaned my heart.

Image credit: Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Love Means This

Invested in a couple of hand-dyed bundles from one of my favorite fabric artists. This one said "Make me into something for Valentine's Day." So I went for a quilted and embellished tote. I kept thinking about what love means to me as I worked on it. Here's the finished tote. Although I was tempted to embellish with beads and pins, I got sick and only felt well enough to do a little stitching every night. As I worked I thought about how often love seems disappointing to us, especially when it fails to live up to our expectations. But now that I've experienced love in many forms, I can say that it's made me a better person than I might have been without it. Love is a precious thing, and should be appreciated in all its forms. I am very grateful for the love of my guy, my child and my friends who have stuck with me all these years. That's you two, in case you're wondering. :) Also finally found something to do with a ve...
1 comment
Read more

Other Stashes

Along with clearing out the spare bedroom and tidying my office and our guest bedroom, I decided to reorganize some of my stashes. This is all the yarn I have on hand, sorted by color. It looks like a lot, but lately I've been using up a minimum of half a bin every month, so this is approximately a year's supply. All of my solid color cotton perle thread. I go through a lot of this every year, too. I need a container in which I can fit all of it together, but I haven't found the right one yet. I won't show you all of my fabric -- I'm still reorganizing this stash -- but I went through everything and donated two bins of fabric I won't need to the local quilter's guild.
Post a Comment
Read more

Store Closing Haul

The mega Books-A-Million store over in Sanford is closing, and offered an extra 20% off on their current stock -- all sales final -- so I went over to do some shopping. Safely but sadly there was no one in the store but me the entire time I was there. The Holly Jackson novel is for Katherine, the Halloween board book is for Oliver, and the copy of Garden Spells is to keep on hand because I give that book to everyone. The rest of the books are for me. I love Anne Cleeves, and the Galbraith novel sounded interesting (the first couple weren't, but I'm willing to take another chance.) The Escape Room is by a new-to-me author, plus it was cheap. The GreenCraft mag is just a guilty pleasure. Hopefully the smaller BAM nearer to me won't close. I don't buy many books from brick-and-mortar stores these days, but that's really the last one within reasonable driving distance.
2 comments
Read more