Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Better or Worse

I've been trying to think of something upbeat to write today. We're heading into what I think will be the nightmare scenario of the pandemic, and the situation in Washington isn't much more optimistic. I think the economy is going to take a major nose dive very soon, too.

We're all exhausted and emotionally drained, women in particular. It's always up to us to hold things together and keep everyone going and do the extra work and not complain. I know I have, and I haven't griped about it. You do what you have to for the ones you love, even when they're too messed up by life to reciprocate.

So that's the downside, the worst of what we're dealing with, and that's all I'm going to write about that. You all are living it, you know what it is. I hope we'll all do what we can to be kind to ourselves now and in the dark times to come.

When Edward and I were younger we sacrificed a lot of life's luxuries and pleasures to see to it that we'd be secure at this point in our lives, and we've made an ongoing committment to remaining debt-free. As a result we're okay, and we should be able to go on helping our kids.

I am still employed, I've gotten my mojo back, and I've started writing my own stories again, which are three things I didn't think would happen this year. I have very good friends who keep dragging my sorry self out of the black pits (for which I thank you so much.) All of those things go in the better column.

I have no plans for next year except to hold on, do what I have to, and write. I'm writing every day and the words keep coming, strong and sure and beautiful, and they are really saving my ass, too. If I have the time and inclination to quilt I will, but right now the only thing that truly makes me happy is the work.

That's it. For better or worse, we're here. Let's do this.

2 comments:

Maria Zannini said...

I know exactly how you feel. Greg's back is getting worse despite treatment so I've been doing his work as well as my own. He used to do all heavy lifting. Now it's just me. I just finished stacking 50 bales of hay.

I think too, that as you reach a certain age, and some faculties start to go, be it, memory, joints, or strength, we keep trying to compensate until we can't do it anymore. That tires us out too.

As for 2021, what choice do we have but to carry on?

nightsmusic said...

My heat hit the floor every morning. For that, I'm eternally grateful. Other than that, I just keep moving forward because I can't do anything else.

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