Pandemic Ten

Ten Things I Hate About the Pandemic

Anti-Masker Hate: I understand there are people who for whatever reason don't wish to wear face coverings. Alas, I'm not that brainless. I do respect your right to be an idiot, and while I avoid you, I don't glare at you in public. So why do most of you glare at me for wearing a mask?

Burial Insurance SPAM: I get three or four of these every day now, and still not interested in being buried. After I'm brain dead and they harvest every part of my bod that can be reused, the rest is being donated to science. I really hope I get to be a practice cadaver for student surgeons, that would be so cool.

Conspiracy Theorists: From my neighbors I've heard stories about testing agencies sending back positive test results for people who left before they were tested, how wearing a mask for hours can suffocate you, and that the pandemic is merely a massive plot to depose our current POTUS to keep our former POTUS from being reelected. P.S., I'm not speaking to these neighbors any more.

Grocery Store Shortages: Because of these I've had to learn how to make my own foaming soap and hand sanitizer, and purchase diapers for my grandson because his parents can't find his size in their area. I STILL cannot find rubbing alcohol at any store. End the hoarding already.

Misinformation: At this point I simply don't believe any information related to the pandemic unless it comes from Dr. Anthony Fauci. He seems to be the only honest one in the whole mess.

Pandemic Marketing: Using the virus in any way, shape or form to sell your products, jack up your prices on your products, or otherwise take advantage of scared people is despicable. Stop it.

Pandemic Politics: What's worse than the usual idiot politics? Responding to a pandemic with even more idiot politics. These have only gotten stupider and more hateful in the last month.

Scammers: Anyone who uses people's pandemic-related fears to swindle them should have all their assets seized and donated to food banks and free clinics, and be sentenced to work in a busy metropolitan hospital emptying bed pans, cleaning up vomit and scrubbing toilets without pay until the pandemic ends.

Sick Workers: I know everyone needs to earn income, but when you go to work sick with the virus you may actually be killing some of your customers and co-workers. That includes me if you work at the two places I have to go every month to buy food and necessities.

Super Spreader Events: Church services, frat parties, weddings, Rose Garden events, whatever -- if you knowingly gather a bunch of people and don't practice social distancing, mask-wearing and sanitation, you could be infecting people. Which kills people. P.S., your god/college bros/bridesmaids/SCOTUS nominee are not more important than anyone else.

Unrelated but just as annoying: people online asking me what my pronouns are. My God, like a million times this year alone. First, I didn't even know what that meant until a much younger person explained this precious little politically correct trend to me. Second, I don't care what anyone calls me. As in I DO NOT CARE. I'll answer to everything, even it -- see how much easier that is? Yet if I say that, I'm somehow spitting on everyone else who is obsessed with THEIR pronouns. Herd mentality at its finest.

Finally, why is it anyone's business how I identify myself? Since when do I have to broadcast my personal business to the world by telling them how to talk to me? Maybe it's something I don't want to discuss with complete strangers. Maybe I'm still in the closet. Maybe I am a closet. Or maybe I'm an alien who identifies as everything plus five or six genders and sexualities that don't even exist on this planet, do these people ever think about that? Huh? Huh?

Sorry. Just so tired of having to be polite about this and not say "Get away from me, you pinhead."