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Embracing Age

Yesterday's post made me think about the other side of ageing, which is really nice for me. While it comes with lots of aches, pains, limitations and worries, I like this part of my life better than any other that came before it. Yep, that's the truth. Why?

#1: It's just me and my guy now, which means I don't have to take care of any other people anymore, which has been pretty much a daily obligation since I was a kid. I was also forced to be a caregiver in nearly every situation, like taking in, detoxing and putting through high school an annorexic, drug-addicted younger sister who no one else wanted to deal with, even our own mother. Not having to do things like that anymore? So nice.

#2: I still work at the best job I've ever had -- my dream job -- and this particular job is the very best of all of those. It makes up for all the wretched jobs I had to work before I got my dream. Never having to work for jerks again? Wonderful.

#3: I've ended my relationships with all the people who were toxic to me. That's a very long list, and it took a lot of courage that I didn't think I had. It's also bliss not to ever have to deal with those people again. Bliiiiiiiiiiiiss.

#4: I'm growing as a person, in that I've come to terms with most of my own personal issues, and I'm working on improving myself. I'm having a lot of fun with my textile art and just being me for once in my life. I even have friends who aren't using me for my connections (because I don't have any connections anymore, hooray!)

Everyone seems to hate old age, but I love mine. What I hated was being a child. Every school I was forced to attend was awful; so was spending three or four days a week in church. Back then adults didn't just hit kids, they beat them (and I have the scars to prove it.) I couldn't escape the hateful people who bullied and hurt me, and developed too many phobias and defense mechanisms because of it. Even if it meant living free of the physical pain of arthritis again, I'd never relive the first 17 years of my life.

Bonus benefit: People generally don't touch you when you're older (a huge relief for me, as that's my biggest phobia. I have to know you very well and like you before I'm comfortable with being touched by you.) They don't scrutinize your appearance or care what you're doing. Mostly they ignore you because you're not someone who appeals to them for any reason. That's an awesome superpower, like I'm invisible to other people.

Finally, now that my time is basically my own, I can enjoy living. I'll never be a great artist, but I am having fun with the things I make. I'm learning all the time because I have time to teach myself new things. I don't have to be beautiful or professional or even presentable. I'm writing this post in pajama shorts and my old University of Maine Black Bears shirt with the holes in it. Who cares? Not my guy. Not me. :)

Image credit: Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

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Comments

Maria Zannini said…
Ugh. Yes and no.
I love retirement which is a gift of old age. I do what I want to do--when I want.

No more forcing myself awake when I had a night of insomnia. No more dealing with employees who acted like children. No more office politics.

You mentioned being invisible. I used to hate that, but now I like it. It's liberating.

I hated being a kid too, but only because I was anxious to get out in the world. Being a kid was too confining.

I think old age makes you more reflective. I see more sides now and I'm better able to make good decisions.

Arthritis still sucks though. :-)
June 13, 2025 at 5:54 AM
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