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Last Night

I worked on this piece last night after doing some exercises to loosen up my working hand. A new and unhappy development in the progression of my arthritis: I'm waking up in the morning with my fingers locked up in a curled position, like a half-fist. So far I've been able to flex them out of it after a few minutes, but now and again during the day they randomly lock up again. I'm also experiencing more pain flares during the day that I haven't felt in the past. The joints have now deteriorated to the point of gnarling, it seems.

I'm not whining about it for sympathy. Long ago I accepted this would eventually be my fate. It's simply that of all the things I despise about old age, this is #1. I'll take the white hair and wrinkles and aches and pains, but losing what's left of my hand function really blows.

Quilting this block with my pretty, sparkling threads last night gave me time to consider what I will do when it's no longer possible for me to hand stitch. Will I give up quilting? Probably not. I'm stubborn, and no matter what life takes away from me I always find a way to keep doing what I love. Look at my writing. My career was supposed to be over six years ago, right? Ha.

I keep thinking about that old chestnut "If it were easy everyone could do it." I'd amend that to "If it were easy and painless and they didn't have to keep reinventing their process, everyone could do it."

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Comments

nightsmusic said…
Have you tried a worry ball? I'm sure that's a dumb question, but asking anyway. And I have no doubt you'll find a way to carry on. You're an inspiration to me and I mean that.
July 25, 2020 at 2:18 PM
Maria Zannini said…
It's very pretty. I love that border.

I know what you mean about that clawed hand. Mine will spasm that way too if I work too long. Drives me nuts because you're literally at its mercy.
July 25, 2020 at 3:32 PM
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