Take Penguin Random House's monthly harassment by e-mail, to which I have never subscribed, and no matter what I click cannot for the life of me unsubscribe. Is this perpetual punishment for working for them for 20 years? Am I in electronic purgatory and simply don't realize it?
Anyway, every month I get some lengthy, chirpy blast of book recs that they assure me I absolutely cannot miss and MUST read because I'm going to LOVE them. These are always books I wouldn't touch even with surgical gloves on.
To demonstrate, let's take a look at February's browbeating, shall we?
1. Brother & Sister by Diane Keaton: "From the beloved film star and best-selling author of Then Again—a heartfelt memoir about Diane Keaton's relationship with her younger brother, and a poignant exploration of the divergent paths siblings' lives can take."
Sadly, I don't read celebrity memoirs because they're almost always written by underpaid, unappreciated ghost writers. In fact, I have never read any celebrity memoir other than Stephen King's long-winded, unhelpful writing how-to that actually should have been titled On Stephen.
2. The Holdout by Graham Moore: "One juror changed the verdict. What if she was wrong? From the Academy Award–winning screenwriter of The Imitation Game and bestselling author of The Last Days of Night..."
Some warning words popped out at me immediately (namely, Academy Award–winning screenwriter) but nothing about this book sounds even remotely interesting. Someone call Scott Turow to write a decent tag line for this man, would you?
3. A Good Girl's Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson: "An addictive, twisty crime thriller about a closed local murder case that doesn't add up, and a girl who's determined to find the real killer—but not everyone wants her meddling in the past."
This book may have the worst title I have ever seen on a thriller. The cover art is runner up. And addictive? Twisty? Whoever wrote that is spending too much time on their smart phone, and possibly drinking their lunch.
4. The Other People by C. J. Tudor: "A gripping thriller about a man’s quest for the daughter no one else believes is still alive, from the acclaimed author of The Chalk Man and The Hiding Place."
Here, let me correct that tagline: Yet another thriller exploiting children and parental fear as entertainment for the reader. Pass.
5. The Queen's Assassin by Melissa de la Cruz: "This is the first novel in a sweeping YA fantasy-romance duet about a deadly assassin, his mysterious apprentice, and the country they are sworn to protect."
Which means the author's sales have taken a dive, so they would only give her a two-book contract, hence the "duet." And hello, for the thousandth time, I don't read YA.
What do I read based on recs? Not much. The last book I bought based on someone else telling me about it was The Body by Bill Bryson. My partner said "Hey, Bill Bryson has a new book out" and I ordered it immediately.
Let's see, what else am I not reading? I've gotten countless SPAM e-mails for American Dirt, which sounded unappetizing even before I read about the scandal surrounding the author; not going to invest in that no matter how hard the publisher pushes it. Also not paying my hard-earned money for any book related to politics and politicians, whistle-blowers, social media, bully romances (I still can't get over the fact that we're romancing the bullies now), guns, religion, climate change, the stock market, fad diets, self-help, and of course all literary novels.
Sigh. Maybe Sarah Addison Allen will publish The Truth in Stories something soon.
What are you not reading?
Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay
Comments
Other than that, I'm still, STILL stuck in my corner! But I will write my way out of it. Eventually :)