If You Ran It Through a Wood Chipper

My third and final blind date with a book was with The Goddesses by Swan (really, Swan?) Huntley, which I finished. Which I'm not sure if I'm regretting yet or not. I'm not sure about 99.9% of this experience. I'm not even on a fence. I'm just confused, pissed off, offended, and a little headachey here.

What I liked about this blind date: technically speaking the writing is actually very good, very readable, which is probably why I stuck with it. The author obviously went to college for writing but it didn't ruin her natural ability. Or maybe she skipped college a lot.

What I didn't like about this blind date: Oh, boy. This is going to be a laundry list of epic proportions. Let me say upfront that if you write well I'll forgive a lot, but despite the talent there was a lot of unforgiveable crap in this book. At the number one position, the mysogyny that runs through it like an icy river. All of the female characters in this book are uniformly crafted to be repulsive. All of them, even the dead ones. Usually you have a range, but not here. As a dedicated character creator I know this was deliberate, ruthless construction, too. "Author has a serious problem with her own gender" should come as a warning label on the front cover.

The rest of the list: a motley crew of secondary characters that only resemble human beings (on what bizarre planet did she find them?) The dialogue that might have been 90% housekeeping if it wasn't written so well (and that no humans would ever speak anyway.) Most of the plot. No, all of the plot. Costco and Red Vines mentioned in practically every other freaking sentence (what, did they pay her to write this novel as promo for their stores and their licorice, respectively?) The yoga used as, ah, something (what the hell . . . I have no idea.) The completely unrealistic and kind of scary depiction of the twisted friendship between the two lead female characters. The whole marriage between the one lead female character and her dingbat husband. Hawaii used as an blunt object with which the author bludgeons the reader (maybe it was the Hawaii from that planet where she found the characters.) Finally, the truly vile confession right before the ending, at which point I threw up my hands in utter confusion, exasperation, aggravation, and no small amount of horror.

Is that everything? Well, the chapter lengths being all over the place; that made me feel like I was in the presence of the literati. The rest of time I have no idea where I was. Maybe on Mars. And there was no point to this story, really. It wasn't even a look-at-how-good-I'm-writing-Mommy story. Maybe the author was settling scores with Mommy and an unhappy past. On Mars.

I don't like romances between two or more women who are friends and nothing more (aka womances), and maybe this was supposed to be a womance. It actually reminded me a little of inspirational chicklit, if you ran it through a New Age wood chipper and then had Picasso reassemble the story. While Picasso was drunk. I knew what was going to happen from almost the very beginning, and then we went into the funhouse of this book and things just got weird. It wasn't even interesting weird. It was stupid weird. Why I kept reading, I don't know. Maybe the author wrote it in the same mood as people who like to rubberneck at the scene of a really bad car accident. Whenever I see that I'm so appalled by what they're doing that I have no words. This experience was like that. Only on Mars.

This book actually messed with my head, so I feel like I need an apology here. I want to apologize for reading this book. Sorry, life, that was a week of you that I definitely wasted. At the same time, the writing is actually really good, technically speaking, and the author is talented. So I don't know what else to say, other than maybe don't read it. Unless you're drunk and on Mars. Maybe it would make sense then. And this is another reason for me not to ever drink or climb on a space ship.

Small but Mighty

In 16 episodes the superhero k-drama Strong Woman Do Bong-Soon runs the gamut from silly/goofy comedy to serious thriller, all with an unlikely romance between the lead actors that slowly builds into a surprisingly and quite wrenching love triangle, so I never knew what to expect -- and I liked that.

Thanks to a secret family legacy, aspiring game developer Do Bong-Soon (Park Bo Young) is blessed from birth with Hulk-like superhuman strength. She's so strong she can basically swat a truck out of her way with one hand, but her gift is also a curse. She has trouble controlling it, and tries to hide it so she can seem more attractive to her schoolgirl crush, police detective In Guk-Doo (Ji Soo). Through a series of mishaps she's hired as a personal bodyguard by Ahn Min-Hyuk (Park Hyung-sik), the extremely attractive yet slightly crazy CEO of a successful gaming company, who has been receiving threats from an unknown assailant. Meanwhile, a masked man begins attacking and kidnapping young women at night in Bong-Soon's neighborhood.

As ridiculous as the comedy can be in this series -- much of it is the Korean version of slapstick, just over-the-top -- the kidnapping case and the unlikely romance between Bong-Soon and Min-Hyuk are what kept me on the edge of my seat. Guk-Doo also becomes a much bigger part of the storyline when he forms a love triangle with them, and Bong-Soon is forced to choose between her unrequited and newfound loves. All the while the psycho kidnapper keeps escalating and becoming more and more menacing.

There was a lot to adore about this series. Park Bo Young wowed me in Doom at Your Service, and she did not disappoint at all in this earlier work. She also had even better chemistry with Park Hyung-sik, who plays his part flawlessly. I'll warn you, you never get tired of looking at Park Hyung-sik; he's absolutely gorgeous. Ji Soo provided an intense alternative hero figure as the cop and Bong-Soon's crush, and without even trying he stole a lot of the scenes he was in. I'm going to watch it again soon because it was so much fun. It's no longer available on Netflix, but you can catch it over at Viki.com.

Slow Year

I'm probably not going to finish another project before the end of December, so I thought I'd take a look back at my year in sewing and quilting. I can't say I set any speed records this year; I made only a few projects and did a lot more slow stitching. But despite the lack of quantity I'm happier with the quality, and how my handwork has made this year better for me.

I kicked off 2021 by making this strip-pieced top that I sewed together as my political statement on Election Night into a quilt.

Finishing this tote helped me get through losing Mom back in April.

My summer art quilt helped me cope when Kat left in May to work in the Pacific Northwest.

I rescued and recycled this beautiful vintage patchwork, and made my first successful lettering stencil for the embroidery.

Recycling was constantly on my mind. Making this art quilt piece into a sunglass case was fun and practical.

I tried an experiment with bargello piecing, which gave me more confidence to test my ideas.

This slow-stitched tote project let me reuse some sacking material from an old cutter quilt piece, which also gave me more ideas on how I might incorporate the old with the new.

Since I had the pandemic, loss of a parent and sending my kid off into the unknown to deal with in 2021 I am very grateful that I had these projects to keep me from drowning in depression. In the end, that's what really matters.

Not Very Happy, But

I am not a fan of pandemic or zombie movies, but I've gotten hooked on the apocalyptic thriller Happiness, which depicts a post-Covid Korea in which an experimental pneumonia treatment drug turns people into crazy blood-drinking zombies. At the end of the last episode the two cop lead characters are now quarantined in a massive apartment complex in which most of the rich residents have been taking the illegal drug which they believe will help them with weight loss. It's currently airing in real time in Korea, so I can only watch an episode after a couple of days when the subtitles have been added on Viki.com, but holy cow, it's really good.

Story Friday

To read my new short story First Sight, click here.

Image Credit: Gloria Nelli from Pixabay

Wishing You

Happy Thanksgiving from Valerean.

Image Credit: Jill Wellington on Pixabay

Remembering

Katherine accepted a very nice permanent job offer out west, but she has to start December 1st, so she won't be home for the holidays. I'm overjoyed for her, and sad for me. Yet I always knew this day was coming, and I am glad she's living her life the way she wants.

I need to wallow again in memories today. This was a pic I took at one of her band concerts in high school.

At her brother's graduation, teaching a little boy how to play a video game.

A Homecoming outfit.

Sixteen years old, at our favorite tea room.

I've tried to be a good mother, and I think I've mostly succeeded. I could not imagine a better daughter.

Success

For my Jane Eyre slow stitch project I needed to figure out a way to transfer an image onto cloth without using chalk, pencils or any sort marking. My solution was to laser print the image onto gift tissue paper and sew through it. To see if it would work, I made a trial run of the idea using scrap muslin and some silk thread.

It worked. The paper was thin enough to stitch through easily, and following the lines of the image worked well, too. I used a variety of stitches to get a feel for what would happen to them when I tore away the tissue at the end. To my surprise the bigger stitches stayed in place, while the smaller did get yanked up a bit (I was able to tug them back into place by carefully prodding the thread from the back.)

This will save me a lot of time that I'd usually spend tracing, and give me a crisper, more accurate image transfer.

Going Crackers

I decided to try making homemade crackers the other day. Reasons: a) the ones I can buy have too much artificial crap in them; b) any box I buy goes stale or expires before I can eat them all and c) I didn't think it would be that difficult. I'm still pretty good with a rolling pin.

I tried this vegan recipe with just pepper and salt as a trial run. They came out okay; a little like pie crust chips. I need to roll the dough out much thinner and add some rosemary next time.

Ghosts of Quilt Shows Past

Although the county quilt show is being held again this year, with Delta still raging here and people not taking it seriously I decided not to go. Instead I started looking through the many years of pics I've taken at the shows in the past.

I remember how blown away I was by this paper-pieced swan. So many tiny bits of fabric.

The box lunches they sold in the little outdoor cafe were wonderful, too.

I've always been impressed by what little old ladies in this area can do with fabric and thread.

This was the quilt that made me determined to learn how to do bargello piecing -- and I taught myself, too.

Mostly I just miss being able to walk around an enormous room filled with so much creativity. Ah, well. Maybe next year.

Testing

I have to do a trial run before I start my Jane Eyre slow stitch project; for this I need to transfer this image onto cloth without using chalk, pencils or any sort marking.

The technique involves tracing the image onto the tissue paper, and then pinning it to the fabric and stitching through it. I hauled out my gift tissue paper, but then I got an idea.

Instead of tracing I taped a piece of tissue paper to some card stock and printed the image on it with my laser jet printer.

Once I cut the tissue paper off the card stock (removing the tape tears the tissue paper) I had the perfect image transfer.

I'm going to test this on muslin first to see how it will look, embroidery-wise, but I think it's going to work. Stay tuned to see the results.

Story Friday

As I'm a masochist I decided to try my hand at a bully romance, just to see if I could make it work on the page. The result is my new short story Yours, which you can read if you click here.

Image credit: Wokandapix from Pixabay

Maybe, with Tweaking

In my eternal quest to find a fun, holiday-themed recipe to make as food gifts for our neighbors I tried this gingerbread coffee cake recipe. I happen to love gingerbread, and it definitely would be an interesting gift.

I sampled a small sliver to test the results, which were a mixed bag. As promised in the recipe notes the cake itself isn't that sweet, and does taste like gingerbread. But for me it didn't partner well with the icing drizzle and chopped crystalized ginger topping (and on the latter, whew. That stuff is very gingery-spicy.) The icing was far too sweet and had no real flavor to it, while the chopped ginger had too much bite.

Part of the problem is me. My grandmother always made real gingerbread (like cake, not cookies) with a lemon-flavored topping that sits in the back of my head and to which I compare everything I try to make. Anyway, I might try and tweak this recipe in the future, but for now I'm back to square one.

Day Away

Taking a day off to refill the well. See you tomorrow.

Image Credit: Larisa K

Better

My second blind date with a book went much better than my first; I read all of Paula Hawkins' novel The Girl on the Train in one day.

What I liked about this blind date: the writing, which was spare, elegant and cleverly executed; the snowballing pacing, the three points of view presented with dates, which helped me keep the convoluted timeline straight in my head, and the mystery itself, which aside from one barely noticeable slip was quite deft.

What I didn't like about this blind date: I'm not a fan of unreliable narrators, alcoholics or endless self-pity parties, all of which saturate this book, so I skimmed a lot. I knew who the killer was going to be almost from the beginning because of that authorial slip (which I will be nice and keep to myself.) Most of the characters were artificially rather than convincingly flawed. The references to sex had these odd amnesiac-style time gaps, i.e. I turned as he put his arms around me, warm and aroused. Afterward we both stared at the ceiling (my words, not the author's.) After the fourth time we leap-frogged the sex like that I really wished the author had just skipped sex references altogether.

It's a pretty slick story, and I see why they made it into a movie (although I will politely pass on watching the film version.) Emotionally I was a bit afloat, as there were no characters I felt I could connect with at all, but instead I focused on the puzzle. Most readers would likely enjoy the mystery, and perhaps the chance to get inside the minds of the three POV characters. I didn't feel as if I'd wasted the reading time, so I'll recommend it with a note of caution on all the negative points I mentioned -- if these are major nopes for you, give this one a pass.

Threshold

The Korean drama series Twenty-Twenty might seem like a typical college romance story, but it surprised me in a lot of ways. While the romance is understated and elegantly slow, it is woven through with weighty issues like bullying, Tiger moms and familial disintegration, and how that affects those who experience it as they cross the threshold into adulthood.

New college freshman Chae Da Hee (Han Sung Min) has a very strained relationship with her mother (Bae Hae Sun), whose strict rules and demanding expectations have made her perpetually miserable since middle school. Mom, who is unmarried, doesn't allow Da Hee to date, socialize or even think for herself. While she exhausts herself trying to please her mother, by the time she begins college Da Hee is on the brink of emotional collapse. She tries to fit in with the other twenty-year-olds, but Mom won't even allow that and barges in trying to control everything.

Da Hee also has two other problems: Jung Ha Joon (Park Sang Nam), a popular guy at school who shadows her all the time and in his own way is as over-protective and controlling as her mother, and Lee Hyun Jin (Kim Woo Suk), a very quiet boy she knew in middle school who accidentally witnesses an ugly scene with her mother. It's obvious both boys like Da Hee, but only Hyun Jin seems to understand and respect her (we find out why during flashbacks of their middle school days.) Things get even more interesting when Da Hee begins to finally rebel against her Tiger Mom and think for herself.

I thought Han Sung Min was superb as a confused and miserable girl trying to find her place as a new adult despite huge obstacles. Kim Woo Suk really surprised me with his performance as the son of indifferent career-obsessed parents, too. His acting seems almost too low-key at first, but is really beautifully subtle. Park Sang Nam is actually a little scary in his part; he does a great job showing a huge range of personality without being obvious. My only complaints are that I thought some of the bullying backstory could have been explained a little more clearly, and Ha Joon's motivation for aggressively shepherding Da Hee justified a little better.

There are twenty episodes of this drama (no surprise there), all under 25 minutes in length, so it's easy to watch. The story-telling is nicely done, and the very chaste but heartfelt romance between Da Hee and Hyun Jin charmed me. All of the actors all do a great job with their roles, too. Available to watch on Viki.com.

Nope

On my first blind date with a book I read 68 pages of Erica Ferencik's Into the Jungle before I threw in the towel. It took me four tries to get that far along in the story, and was probably 67 pages more than I should have read, but I wanted to give the story a chance.

Things I liked about this blind date: not a single thing.

Things I disliked about this blind date: Everything. I'm not kidding, everything. From the cover art with its blinding yellow accents (I should have taken that as a Do Not Enter warning) to the over-wrought, thesaurusitis writing and a collection of characters so juvenile, unrealistic and (admittedly, artfully) repulsive I had zero sympathy for all of them. This book is a steaming pile of crap dressed up like a story -- and yes, I would say that to the author's face. My overriding thought every time I turned a page was Can I stop now? Please?

I know I should not feel this way; the novel got a starred review from Publishers Weekly, too. Oh, well. Now I understand why their reviewers always hated my books.

I've only asked people not to read a book once in the past; China Nieville's Perdido Street Station did so much harm to my brain I almost gave up writing. After 68 pages of this, I have to ask again. Please don't read this book.

T-minus Day

This was our little Thanksgiving dinner last year, when it was just the three of us. Time keeps whittling down my favorite holiday; this year it will be just me and my guy, and we likely won't even have a turkey.* That will be a first in 35 years.

I feel about Thanksgiving the way other people do about Christmas, and while it's a lot of work it's my favorite holiday. Of all the Thanksgivings I've had in the past sixty years, only three were truly terrible: one when I was a kid that I don't talk about (#1 most miserable); the time I roasted two turkeys together and hosted fifteen people whom I cooked for and served with zero help (the largest and #2 most miserable); and the one I spent in basic training (the #3 most miserable.) I have no pictures of any of those, thank heavens. In addition to doing all the cooking I'm the one who takes all the pictures, washes all the dishes and puts away all the leftovers. I suppose no one else cares because to them it's just a big, free meal.

My saddest Thanksgiving was one year when unhappy circumstances left me alone with nowhere to go. Rather than stay home and try to make a meal for one I accepted an invitation from a friend who felt sorry for me. I made a sweet potato casserole and an apple pie as my contribution to the meal, and shared an Italian-style Thanksgiving with her and her family. I was grateful to be included. I also came home after that dinner and cried until my eyes almost swelled shut.

Other, happier things I remember from past Thanksgivings: the first time Katherine's boyfriend tasted my roasted turkey, and the look on his face (among other things I use a basting sauce of my own invention that always makes the bird turn out awesome); the time I burned myself badly across the inner forearm while avoiding dropping a 20 lb. turkey as I took it out of the oven (I saved the bird and the day; still have the battle scar, too); the year I was eight months pregnant with Kat and exhausted while I was cooking, and my dad telling me it was the best turkey dinner he ever had (he probably lied, but I was so happy.)

In years to come I expect Thanksgiving will keep changing, and I'll have to go on adjusting to new variations of my favorite holiday. I hope I always cook something on this day for as long as I'm capable, because the meal has always been my way of saying I love you to my family. That's why I love it so much. That's why it will always be my favorite day of the year.

*My guy and I actually changed our minds and decided to have a turkey this year just for the two of us. So I'm much, much happier now.

Story Friday

To read my short story Paths, click here.

Wild Ride

Along with the Gods: The Two Worlds is an epic, dazzling film that hurls you into the Korean version of the afterlife while showcasing some of the most impressive special effects I've ever seen in any movie.

The story begins with the death of firefighter Kim Ja-Hong (Cha Tae-hyun) who jumps out of a burning building with a child in his arms. The kid lives, but he dies at the scene. Two strangers inform him that he has passed away right on schedule, and toss him into a vortex that takes him to the world of the afterlife, where he meets his three guardians: Gang-rim (Ha Jung-woo), Haewonmak (Ju Ji-hoon) and Lee Deok-choon (Kim Hyang-gi).

At the gates of the afterlife Ja-Hong learns that he is considered a paragon (an exemplary person who lived a noble and self-sacrificing life) and is eligible to be reincarnated -- but there's a catch. First he has 49 days to make it through seven hells in which he will be judged on his sins. His three guardians will help and defend him along the way (and they have their own reasons for wanting to do that), but surviving each hell requires that he be honest and have a valid reason for what he did wrong in his life. The Gods of these hells are all very tough, demanding overseers who have absolute power over the souls that come to them, and most easily take offense.

This movie and Ja-hong's journey through the hells of the Korean afterlife makes Homer's Odyssey look like an elementary school field trip. The special effects might have overwhelmed the story, but brilliant performances by all the actors keep everything grounded in the mythology and make it very human. Although the ending is something you might expect, have some tissues on hand. You're going to cry. I did. Available to watch on Viki.com.

Something Different

Now that the puppies are a little older and house-trained I have a bit more time for leisure reading. I decided to try something different and ordered a "blind date with a book" box that came with these three titles: Into the Jungle by Erica Ferencik, The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins, and The Goddesses by Swan Huntley.

On the plus side these are all used books, and I haven't read any of them or their authors. I've already started Into the Jungle, which may be one I put aside fairly quickly (my life is still too short to waste on books that don't engage me at all) but I'm giving the author another couple of chapters to win me over, so we'll see. I've never gone on a blind date with anyone or anything, but I'm fairly sure walking out after a few minutes is bad manners.

I know the Hawkins book was a monster bestseller and ended up being a movie, too, I believe. Probably why I never read it. The Huntley book (Swan? Really?) looks like high-brow womance. I'm so jaded, I know. It's really impatience more than anything. I want to be wowed by books the way I used to be when I was younger, but I think I've read too many (and so many are derivative these days it feels like every reading experience is one I've already had.)

I should be able to knock out one per week, so I'll write up recs or nopes on them during the month November. Wish me luck.

Weird

Twice now I've seen what looks like a finger sticking out of the ground in the yard near our woodpile. It's almost always got flies on it

Turns out it's a mushroom, probably some variety of mutinus elegans, aka the elegant stinkhorn (it looks just like them minus the icky top.)

Although it's not poisonous, it creeps me out.

Next Project

I'm probably going to do one more slow-stitched project before I think about doing anything for the holidays; I want to do an homage piece to Jane Eyre, one of my favorite books. I started with a rummage through this basket of all the hand-dyed and vintage fabics I've saved.

I narrowed down the choices for the background fabric to these two hand-dyed pieces. To audition them, I simply put my project elements on top of the fabric to see how everything works together.

This fabric, which is an organically dyed old Kitchen Aid linen towel, seems at first glance to me to be a bit too light for my theme.

My other choice is very Gothic; the organically dyed synthetic. A bit too dark, though, as it seemed to swallow up the colors of my elements.

The contrast between both of my background fabric choices made me think, too. Is Jane Eyre really that dark of a story to me? Mostly of it is pretty dismal and dreary. But when I first read the novel as a girl I felt a strong affinity for Jane and how no matter what happened to her -- even being abused and losing her best friend -- she never gave up hope.

Hope is light, not dark. Hope is lovely, not dreary. That's why I chose the lighter piece for my project.

The more I look at my materials, the more confident I am that I made the right choice -- even if it doesn't make sense to anyone but me.

I'll keep looking at everything for another day or so, and maybe make some sketches, and then get started.