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Fear

Old age is eaten up with moments of fear, I think. How long do I have left? is one of the scarier questions we ask ourselves, because it usually can't be answered. I've been wondering about that, as I'm seeing too many people younger than me die of disease these days. Then there's the pandemic, which makes me feel like I'm walking through a plague ward every time I leave the house. I could be one of the vaccinated who still gets sick and dies from Delta, or another variant.

I like to look at this picture when I feel afraid. I was terrified of making this quilt. I was scared the entire time I worked on it, from cutting the fabric all the way to stitching on the binding. It was the scariest quilting experience of my life.

Now seeing it reminds me not to be afraid. Even if I screw up, I'll be okay. Even if I don't end up with what I want, I'll learn something. Even if I'm going to be in pain, I can live with it. And if I'm going to die, I won't go whimpering and weeping. I'm not afraid.

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nightsmusic said…
We don't know how many days we're allotted. We can only live our days to the best of our ability and hope when all is said and done, we've done the best we can. I tell myself that every morning. It took me most of my life to get there though.
October 24, 2021 at 6:09 AM
Maria Zannini said…
Me and Nightmusic are on the same page. I don't worry about covid. I'm far more likely to trip on a flat surface and break my face. Wait and see. When I die it'll be because I was a klutz.
October 24, 2021 at 1:42 PM
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